'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Only one creature was stirring, it was a louse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds;
While visions of Shadow Club pins danced in their heads;
And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,
Gave a lustre of midday to objects below,
When what to my wondering eyes did appear,
But a ‘31 Chevy with our presents in the rear,
With a weasely driver (such a slovenly slob),
I knew in a moment we were being robbed.
More rapid than dark eagles our rescuer came,
And he laughed, and shouted, and called them by name:
"Now, Fingers! now, Squint! Your time is at hand!
Return your ill gotten booty and silently stand!
Christmas is for families and people who care,
here is a bit of wisdom with you I will share."
But before our hero could finish his thought
The vile thieves drew gats they probably hadn’t bought!
His eyes—how they burned, like twin pieces of Blue Coal there!
His hands flashed like lightning and twin guns he brought to bear!
Flame flashed from the smokewagons amid that silent night,
And the smoke, it encircled his head like a wraith, oh such a sight ;
The crooks lay bleeding and fearful in the snow,
When the black cloaked savior spoke “Of this I know...
The Weed of Crime bears bitter fruit, Crime doesn’t Pay!”
And with those words of wisdom he was on his way.
But from the mists that shrouded our quaint little lane
We heard one thing more though not very plain.
From out of that dark and inky black night
"Merry Christmas to all and to crooks a good fright!"
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